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07-26-2021

On the Origin of Psychological Problems

Many people are walking around with their personal problems or psychological problems – being totally convinced that if those personal problems disappeared - their life would be much better.

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Those personal problems appear in: relationships, in your life, and in your self-expectations from yourself, and in what you want to achieve in your life.

And as we go on with our life we feel that if we solved them – our life would be clean, clear, and happy: a good life.

So what we can we do with these problems that torture us in our life?

We can go to a good friend, who usually will just give us practical advice, which has nothing to do with the root of our personal problems. Or we turn to a psychologist.

Outstanding, special, and unique people - suffer from personal problems which make their life difficult and even miserable. While most of the people we know live without those personal problems, maybe they have a few, but it does not block them from living normal, fulfilled, happy and conventional lives.

So the existing general view is that if someone carries on in his life full of personal problems – it is his fault, and this is because something must be wrong with him; you are either not doing something right or you had a difficult childhood. Or, you might be born with more psychological problems than others (not happening). Some fit into the normal way of life while this minority is sure that they cannot fit into the general system because of their own personal problems.

Now, my approach is completely different. No one has any personal or psychological problems. All there are, are highly special and rare individuals that live in autosuggestion that something is wrong with them.

We are either born with this potential gift or adjust to the "little boxes" life that is being offered to us by society.

We are born healthy; physically, psychologically, and mentally (unless something physically is wrong with us).

No one is responsible for their personal-psychological problems, everything is ok with us. No-one acquired these problems of their own that they personally are responsible for. It is not our fault.

So: no one is responsible for their personal-psychological problems, everything is ok with us. No-one acquired these problems of their own that they personally are responsible for. It is not our fault.

But most surely that if you go to a psychologist he would relate to you from the start as if something was wrong with you (by you having these personal-psychological problems). All those personal problems do not arise either from birth, or education and upbringing, but unless you have abusive parents (which are in a low percentage) – most children are growing by getting the most love and the best conditions to grow.

So, all babies are personal problems-free, and grow enveloped by love and care, and yet they are people who could not manage their life because of those personal problems.  So what is left for us as a reason for this? Well, most, if not all of those personal problems are not psychological but at root, they are sociological- as they appear in the books of Prof. Eva Ilouz.

We live in a corrupted, alienated, inhuman, technical society. A society that rests on massive organizations, and puts absolute emphasis on the ability to integrate and function within the greater system. And if you cannot (because you are special) – something must be wrong with you!

So there is nothing wrong with most humans, all there is this minority of rare, special humans who are Highly sensitive, and have got what I call: an Extra Soul: They are more unique, more gifted, with an original way to look at life, and they are much deeper than the common usual person.

But people who are born special – cannot integrate within conventional society. And if you cannot integrate – and you think that if you cannot integrate - something must be wrong with you. And you go to a psychologist – he confirms mostly that something is wrong with you. But nothing is wrong with you, all there is a minority of highly individual people whose uniqueness does not fit into the average, mediocre majority. They live in a society that educates all to be average; to be like everyone else and thus get a confirmation for being ok.

So, it is the most special, rare, outstanding, and unique individuals – who are the ones that suffer from personal problems.

It fact, it is not only not their fault, but actually, it is a great reassurance for them. Because only the highly sensitive, artistic, spiritual, and special people - are suffering from personal-psychological problems.

They suffer at the base because they are outstanding and unique.

And so, because of their uniqueness and specialness, they cannot fit into the mediocre, dominant, conforming, and average society – which makes their life miserable by putting upon them a stigma, and by that makes their life miserable.

Their problems do not originate from them but from a rigid forceful society that when it pinpoints someone that doesn’t go in the conventional way of being a good pupil at school, good student in the University, a contributing worker at work, and a good husband and pedant in his family – they get a stigma.

But special people who are different - outsiders, have got a different destiny. And they get discriminated against heavily for not being able to be like everyone else and fit into a highly technical system and be functional in it.

They are sure that if they cannot go this way – it must be because something is wrong with them (which is responsible for their personal problems). But nothing is wrong with them, on the contrary. They are deep inside, they are the best of the best, soul wise and spirit wise.

But in such an inhuman, alienated, and highly competitive society – they internalize the stigma and then become convinced that something is wrong with them.

It is a society at large that is inhuman, alienated, and competitive – discriminating the rare few who carry a high spark. The majority are forced to function in it like conditioned robots.

And those discriminated higher few - develop personal problems which are only a symptom of the stigma for not being able to integrate into a soulless alienated society. A society where competition and being average is repressing and pushing out the whole idea of self-actualization, which is the main issue and center of gravity for the special few. (By the way, in the 21st century it seems that the number of the special few which could not fit - is in growth and increase).

And so those who carry the unique spark and cannot fit – go on in their life with great guilt feeling (about what is fucked up in them).

But no! You are the precious stone, you are salvation to the lost people in a lost world.

And despite this hope and possibility - the greatest injustice is being done to them, for they could not find in the ruling dominant collective ecology a space in which to apply their special potential. So they are lost, carrying personal problems as a result of not being able to fit in and the stigma that follows. And stigma says over and over again: you are ‘fucked up’ something is wrong with you, while the complete opposite is true.

And so, they grow up convinced that everyone is ok and only with them something is wrong…

Everything is stuck in the world, like standing stale water, just the spark carriers could be the only hope, the only salvation. But like women about 100 years ago – with no rights – those special few hide in the closet, being cause to feel ashamed for being what they are.

And so, the most vital thing for them is to cultivate, nourish and work to develop their gift as much as possible.

It is about time to realize who they really are, and how great would be their great contribution to others.  

But for that, they need to get out of the closet (of being different), get together, support each other, and rebel against the norms of society that puts upon them the social stigma.

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Gabriel Raam
A philosopher, lecturer (emeritus), and expert for non-verbal communication
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