Dating, Love, and Partnership for the HSP
Love is the most important factor in the life happiness of the HSP. But it is often difficult to find and maintain a fulfilling partnership. Why is this? Can HSP counseling help?
Love is undoubtedly the single most important factor in most people’s lives from their mid-twenties onwards. Single people in particular find it occupies their thoughts constantly. For HSPs, the topic can be even more all absorbing.
There are very few qualified professional services available to help people with all things love related. Sex gurus, love doctors, and couples’ therapists all offer self-help books and counseling. Yet there are few effective solutions out there and almost no testimonies of positive results. Why is that?
Well, first, this is about two separate issues. Relationships are about love, whereas dating is about attraction. The two categories might seem similar, but they operate according to totally opposite principles.
Dating for the HSP
Dating is often an arduous task for highly sensitive people. The dating market seems like a jungle, full of potential for emotional injury. We highly sensitive people are often alienated by gameplaying, and it can seem almost impossible to find the right person.
In addition, dating is all about games and attraction, whereas most highly sensitive people value authenticity and yearn for true emotional support and unconditional love.
This causes them to feel alienated, lost, and estranged in the dating world.
Most of the available information about attraction either suggests manipulating the other person in order to make them attracted to you (men are more drawn to this approach) or offers tips on how to be more attractive yourself (women are more drawn to this approach).
Yet that is not how attraction works. Attraction is only a problem when people are not in touch with and at peace with who they are. Such people non-verbally communicate the self-denial and insecurity they feel.
Given that most dating doctors and coaches know nothing about self-awareness, self-acceptance, or nonverbal communication (which makes up more than 80% of communication), no wonder there are few useful available services in this field.
Positive Relationship Dynamics
Now, let's talk about love. The more sensitive a person is, the greater his or her need for harmony and unconditional love in a relationship.
Unfortunately, many relationships get stuck in the blame game after a while. Highly sensitive people with low self-acceptance, unfortunately, tend to attract blame — everything always seems to be their fault. But there are no winners in the blame game — only losers.
Also, a person that is more agreeable by nature (which most HSPs are) will need to learn to set boundaries to keep themselves and the relationship safe and protected.
The greatest dangers to a relationship are taking things personally all the time, being stuck in toxic patterns, identifying with emotional hurt, communicating poorly, and having no awareness of the hidden dynamics until the atmosphere is polluted, or even worse, poisoned.
All of these points have to do with emotional maturity, which is the number one predictor for a satisfying and healthy relationship. How to achieve higher emotional maturity? Through a self-development approach that focuses on emotions.
Our 1-on-1 HSP counseling service is a very good example of that because it puts emotional maturity front and center.
If you're interested in learning more about our HSP counseling, you can read more here: